It's about that time again.
This time we'll join the ranks of doughnuts, eggs and sodas-one dozen!
Baby number 12 is due around March 2016!
I decided to keep it on the down-low this time around. I really haven't enjoyed telling people that we're expecting since around baby number 5. Oh, I do love having my babies and it is an exciting time for me.
But. all. the. negativity.
On Wednesday night a lady from church asked me how many kids I had and I said 11. I thought, "you know, I'll just go ahead and let her know", so I said "And, we're expecting number 12!".
She looked right at me, scowled and said, "You are OUT of your mind!"
Dang, lady, you couldn't have even faked it and said "congratulations" or SOMETHING nice?"
I decided I wasn't going to let it bother me, because it isn't the first time or the 100th that someone has said something stupid and insensitive in what otherwise is a happy time for my family.
But, it did bother me. And I kept thinking and thinking about it.
I guess I feel like I owe it to people to announce that we're expecting, because that's what people do, right? And, then I brace myself for the all. the. negativity. And, then I just swallow and ignore it because I don't want them to steal the joy of my new little one.
And, then I started thinking this week. Why do I think I owe it to anyone to announce it? Announcing it isn't even where I find the joy anyway. I told a few close family members and a few close friends, but I just decided I'm not throwing it out there to get a reaction, negative or not, from anyone. I just don't need it.
Now, don't get me wrong, not everyone is negative and my good friends and family who know us, rejoice with us, But some friends and family don't rejoice. Some CHRISTIAN people don't rejoice. Have they not read in their Bible ALL the verses that talk about children being gifts, blessings and rewards??? Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one's youth-BLESSED is the man whose quiver is FULL of them?
Since I turned forty in June, I keep thinking "Why can't we just be who we are? Why do we have to always need to please someone else? Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't aim to be Christlike if we are Christians, or giving reasons to sin, I'm talking why can't we go gray, be chunky, enjoy what we enjoy and not need to feel guilty because we aren't like someone else? Why do I need to suck in this belly because it isn't "acceptable" to look pregnant at 10 weeks? Why would I need to compare myself to someone pregnant with their second while I've had SIX times more pregnancies than them? (Ok, maybe that's just a personal issue. Or the result of a personal love of all things chocolate, but whatever.)
I know not everyone understands or agrees with our decision to have many children. But, that's just it. It's OUR decision to trust God and to have many children. Some may not agree with it, some may not like it, but in the south we used to say,
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
So, there you have the deep insight into my thoughtful week.
Maybe it's just the nausea talking.