Monday Musings

I really don't mind being pregnant. I mean, if one can't mind the exhaustion, nausea, stuffiness, nosebleeds, swollen feet, endless doctor visits, hemorroids, cravings, forgetfulness, clumsiness, heart palpitations, heartburn and a digestive system that has come to a screeching halt- that is. But, towards the end I do get tired of answering the same questions a million and fifteen times. Although, out of love for my friends and family- and generally complete strangers- I will continue to answer with a smile. Although it may be a fake one.

Wow, your belly is really out there now! (Thanks for pointing out the fact that I am as big as a house.)

When are you due? (February 23, but I am always late, so please ask me again when I am 40, 41 and almost 42 weeks along and no baby yet.)

How much longer do you have? (Whatever answer I give, please always give me a look that says, "Are you sure you won't be ready to pop tomorrow?")

Are you having twins? (NO, I am just as big as a house, but my one baby could easily be the size of two.)

Have you picked out names? (Bailey Caroline if it's a girl; Travis Clarke if it's a boy. Or, it might just be easier to stick with "Number 8".)

What do you need? (A foot massage, a pound of chocolate and a week in Hawaii?)

Where are you going to put this baby? (Yes, our house is shrinking. I think there's still some room under our bathroom sink.)

Are the kids excited? (Oh, no. Don't be ridiculous. They still dread that we kept the last three.)

Well, you look good. (Translation: Well, for a woman on her eighth pregnancy who is as big as a house, that is.)

Is it a boy or girl? (We are the only ones on the face of the earth with the audacity to not find out the sex ahead of time.)

You know what they say, you can tell if it is a girl by how big your butt is. (Let's just not go there.)

Is this your first baby? Asked by naive strangers. (Why, yes. Yes, it is. Do you have any advice?)