I admit that over the last two months I have been on an emotional rollercoaster with the all the things going on. I've also been having a hard time just functioning, because I have to have a plan and know what's going on at all times. But, obviously, I've not been able to make a plan and I generally have had no control over what's been going on. This has been very hard for me. It's literally been one thing one minute and something else the next. I've felt like the Lord has been giving and then taking away. First, David's old job looked as if there was hope for a turn around, then he got fired. Then, there was the new job he's been offered, but still no contract. The contracts were supposed to be signed before Christmas, now it isn't until the tenth. He was told he'd be making one salary and now it will be less.
Yesterday, I decided that I was fed up with this.
I am ready to move on.
Sick of waiting.
So, after my morning meltdown, I went over to a friend's to get some books she was getting rid of and then went to the Christian Book store to try and exchange a Veggie Tales that we had been given for Christmas, but already had a copy of. It turns out that the movie was on sale and so I would've had to spend an extra five bucks to get a different Veggie Tales, which I didn't want to do. So, there at the checkout was a display of $5 items and one of them was "Facing the Giants". Much to the displeasure of Tristan (who wanted the Veggie Tales) I went ahead and got that movie.
As I was watching it last night, a line in that movie really struck me. This is an awesome, awesome example of how mighty God can work in your life, by the way. The story is about a high school football coach who seems to have everything going wrong for him. Then, some amazing things start happening once he decides to give it all over to God. He tells his team that they are wasting their time if all they are there for is just to win games. After several wins, they suffer a devastating loss. The line is:
"We will Praise God when we win, and we will praise Him when we lose."
That is what it's all about. Praising Him.
I seem to have forgotten to "Praise Him when he gives, and Praise Him when he takes away."
That is such a hard place to be. But, when you finally get there, it is such a tremendous relief. Now, I feel like I can "move on."
Another part of the movie that really spoke to me was when a an older gentleman, who walked the halls praying for all the students, went to the coach and told him that God wanted him to "bloom where he was planted" because he hadn't lost his job yet. (His job was at stake, if the team didn't make a turnaround.) Then he told the story of two men who needed rain for their crops. Both prayed for rain, but only one went out to prepare his field to receive it. Which man trusted God the most? Which man was he?
Why would a football movie speak to me, especially when I totally dislike football? Well, God does find often humorous ways get His point across.
I will be the man, er woman, who will go out and prepare the field and trust that God will bring the rain. And trust that God will give me the strenth to trust him to bring the rain.